A healing option for the people raising angry kids

The sense of panic that consumes you when you have to enforce boundaries and limits with your tween who's had multiple suicide attempts; worried that a simple request to do the dishes will result in yet another trip to the emergency room. 

 

The sheer terror that looms over you every time your child makes the same face your violent ex made when they were really about to lose their sh*t on everyone around them. When did your sweet baby turn into Jekyll and Hyde?

 

The constant replay of that time your enraged 10 year old threw a glass bowl at your head. You'd love to forgive and forget, but every morning when you put concealer on that nasty scar, you drift farther and farther away from your child.

 

The betrayal that leaks physical pain into your chest every time your in-laws tell you that you f*cked up as a parent. That you're the reason they're getting suspended from school. Or worse, since they're so well behaved at school and such a nightmare at home, you start believing the false narrative that YOU are the problem.

 

Breathe. Slowly. We can say these things out loud here without judgment. This is one of the important steps towards healing from what most clinicians hesitate to call "traumatic parenting." In some cases, it may be the only way to tame the chaos in your home once and for all.

 

After 8+ years of working closely with my favorite humans–the defiant little geniuses who are masters at keeping their parents on a permanent roller coaster–I have seen that the families who are most stuck on the carousel of one therapist after the other, often have at least one parent who has been traumatized by the experience of parenting their child.

 

Over and over, I encounter parents of easily dysregulated children who haven't been given the space to admit that parenting has been traumatic. This often robs them of the opportunity to fully process the trauma they've experienced with their child; and instead are given a list of behavior strategies or sent to some therapist who's working off a script and forcing an inauthentic bond.

 

Healing parental trauma is often the Mt. Everest that parents need to climb in order for their child to finally start making progress in therapy. When parents are finally able wake up from the recurring nightmare that has consumed their parenting journey, their little humans are in a much better position to shed the image of themselves as the villain in the family. Behaviors that once sent you, dear parent, into a tailspin of anxiety will seem less daunting, allowing you to respond and react with more clarity, precision, and connection to your child. 

 

For these parents, I offer incident-specific Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) as a more intensive, shorter term service. Please note these appointments are structured very differently from regular psychotherapy or parent coaching. Here are the logistical shenanigans:

 

• Diagnostic intake appointment (billing code 90791)- 90 min for $600

• TWO 75-min sessions per week (billing code is 90837). Number of weeks will vary based on the client's presentation.

  • $600/week if paid one week in advance ($300 discount)

  • $450 per session if billed the day of your appointment

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Unlike family therapy or parent coaching, the parent is the identified patient, and will receive a diagnosis (if appropriate), and treatment plan for these services.